I'M NOT a born Catholic. My family was Taoist/Buddhist and still is. When I was very young, I learnt about God through a group of Baptist Christians who set up a centre in the HDB void deck below my two-bedroom home -- telling stories, singing songs and lending books. I have very little memories of what really transpired then. Didn't visit the centre much. However, an image of God as a father holding the hand of a small child has lingered on.
Upon entering JC, I learnt about God from the shining example of a religious sister who taught me GP. She was so joyful, so friendly, so thoughtful... God then was like a loving sister, ever-ready to smile, to listen and to cheer one up.
This vision of God changed during my university days, upon contact with some pesky evangelical Christians. God then became like a gangster God, demanding, "Believe in me or you'll die! Believe in me or you'll go to Hell!"
WHEN I FINALLY converted and became a Catholic many years later, after a deep long search and many special experiences (too many to cite here), God was essentially a god who grants favors, a god who does my will. Yes, I believed in Him and I wanted to become a better person through Him. Still, God was like a Santa Claus who would satisfy my wishes every now and then.
Now, even more years later, God is a god who is so wise that I want to do His will with all my heart, mind, body and soul. Yes, there are times when I just couldn't (or wouldn't). God now has many faces: God is a god of mercy and compassion, God is a god of justice, God is a god of meekness and gentleness, God is a god of non-negotiables. He's like a father who is my rock and my strength, a mother who comforts and takes care of me, a friend who laughs with me and makes me laugh, a coach who guides and challenges me, a muse who inspires me and spurs me on....